Now what???

I do not believe this, I got a letter from the tax credit office, telling me they wanted my actual earnings for last year, as the payments I was getting are based on an estimate, my estimate is HIGHER than the actual, guess what they did..... Made my payments LOWER! yes I now receive less than I did before, I wish I had said I earned more now, maybe they would have put it up! So am now £89.00 a month worse off, which means I am now struggling even more than I was last week. What is happening to me???????????????????

Life is so bloody unfair. I still have no idea what is happening with my house, am I staying or leaving, I do not want to hand over a whole months rent if he is not going to give me a tenancy agreement how do I know he is not just going to take my money and chuck me out anyway? The way my life is going that is exactly what would happen.

Sitting here desperately trying to think of ways to bring in extra money, things are now getting VERY desperate, I couldn't manage BEFORE they put my money down, now; well I may as well give up, I am seriously considering re-homing our 2 dogs, and 2 cats, and putting our furniture - that's a laugh what furniture - into storage and settling in at the homeless hostel - ahh such joy, full of smokers, no hopers, foreign spongers, UK spongers, ahh yes just the place to bring my well behaved well brought up children who HAVE morals! yes might as well DIE!

I just don't believe all this is happening to me again, how much more am I going to have to take before I manage to stay put in a nice place and be happy?

I really wish I could buy my own place, but with prices going up and up and up all the bloody time, how the hell am I supposed to do that I cant even save money now, this really is a LIVING HELL!

Please God, stop making my life a misery, HELP ME! You took my mother from me, WHY? I really miss her so damn much, why did you rip her from me? Why do you make my life so miserable, what purpose does this serve? I have done nothing wrong, I don't steel, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I am kind, helpful and considerate, so why are you punishing me?

I really HOPE that things get better soon, as I really don't know how much more I can take, before I end up with a private room at the funny farm. Nice padded cell, three square meals a day, and solitude, maybe I should just start banging my head against the wall in practice, as this is certainly where I will end up.

Oh well, back to trying to work out some way on this bloody horrid earth to bring in an extra bit of money each month.